When you grew up in a perpetual state of crisis, you're hypervigilant. We see the smallest details and study rooms to find the nearest exit because we had to prepare for the explosions and our escape. We file the warnings and monitor their frequency because we know it's only a matter of time before the bomb detonates.

I wish I could unsee the things I've seen and be blissfully unaware, but who would counter all those, "everything is going to be oks?" It's a curse, but at least, I know reality, intimacy, and how to recognize the warnings.

I have been screaming at the top of my lungs for years, everything is not ok, and when everything gets worse, it'll be the professional trauma survivors who won't say, I told you so, but instead, know the escape plan because we've always had to have one.