I want to play the "I know what's going on game" too!

The Republican elites have beef with China, while the Democrat elites have borscht with Russia. Our government has been doing its best to please its bosses, and even released a report suggesting the UFO sightings were high-tech Russian or Chinese aircraft. Spooky!

The weirdo Right claimed China manufactured the pandemic while the Dems created Russiagate, yet no proof of either claim evolved. So, the Repub Club is annoyed we're not going head-to-head with China and throwing a god damn tantrum. On the other end, the Dem Flehm are thrilled they got to eat their borscht before it got cold and beat the Right, but the Repub Club will get their wish soon.

Sanctioning Russia cut it her off from the world, and low and behold, China is Russia's bestie trading partner now, but we can't keep trading with China if she's gonna work with the devil! China, "you can't sit with us," and the Western elites enjoy their victories. Hurrah!

Unfortunately, we suffer more, but at least we got those evil son of bitches! Now, we threaten nuclear war every other day, and try to figure out how to make things again. Hopefully, we have all the essential resources to make medicines and all the other shit we consume. Here's to the future!