I thought I finally won a prize! What a let down, but I own 50-year-old crap!

My 1970s Sunbeam electric hand mixer works better than today's cheap shit because those were the days when crap was made to last. I'll probably have to use it as a weapon when the fascists attempt to silence me, but hopefully, the ancient tool will scare them away. Otherwise, my 5'2.5" and 115 pounds will suffice.