Beautiful, and I relate.

My mind is the scariest place in the world. I had anxiety attacks during a period of grief and stress where I disassociated, not knowing if my limbs were mine. Fear of anxiety scared me more than the attacks, and I spent years in therapy learning to overcome the fear of myself.

Anxiety and fear dominated my thoughts, and I hated myself for allowing them to control me. I treated myself worse than my enemies.

After a horrific job and depressive episode, I traveled to the Amazon Rainforest to get my bearings. I stayed a month in a treehouse overlooking the Tapajos River, realizing nature is the only authentic construct.

After a month of perspective, a Brazilian invited me to an ayahuasca ceremony, which changed my life. I'm not the first to say it, but ayahuasca cleared the noise in my head, giving me the space to speak directly to my ego (I sound insane - I know).

As I sat in the rainforest crying and hugging myself, I realized no one could meet the expectations I placed upon myself, and I deserved love. I stopped hating myself and realized my worth.

In this civilization we created, there's no time to process anything, and we lose ourselves in the "you're only as good as the value you produce" rhetoric, but we are much bigger and better than this.

Our minds are incredible, yet we waste so much time producing meaninglessness to buy survival. Imagine a world where we reach our full potential xo.